Becoming Charitable

In his book Drawing Heaven into your Marriage, H. Wallace Goddard, Ph.D. quotes C.S. Lewis on charity:

When I come to my evening prayers and try to reckon up the sins of the day, nine times out of ten the most obvious one is some sin against charity; I have sulked or snapped or sneered or snubbed or stormed. And the excuse that immediately springs to my mind is that the provocation was so sudden and unexpected; I was caught off my guard, I had not time to collect myself. Now that may be an extenuating circumstance as regards those particular acts: they would obviously be worse if they had been deliberate and premeditated. On the other hand, surely what a man does when he is taken off his guard is the best evidence for what sort of a man he is? Surely what pops out before the man has time to put on a disguise is the truth?

I like this idea that our natural reactions help us to identify and recognize who we truly are on the inside. It makes sense to me that if we are a truly charitable person, then our first reaction would be to reach out in love and understanding. If we are not truly charitable, then our first reaction would be to become angry or offended. The question is, how do we get to the point where we become instinctively charitable? The only answer I have to offer: patience, diligence, and practice.

We have to patient with ourselves. We cannot expect ourselves to be charitable right away. That goes against the natural man. When you mess up just remember to be patient, repent, and try again.

We must also be diligent. Becoming charitable is not something that occurs overnight. We need to make the commitment to see ourselves through and consistently work at becoming better.

Finally, we must practice being charitable. This means consciously trying to be charitable. It means that when we have an uncharitable thought, we mentally slap ourselves and correct the initial reactions. As we do this, we will begin to notice a change in ourselves.

I am not saying that this process will make us become perfectly charitable, but if we commit to becoming more we will slowly become a little better every day.